Welcome in the New (You)

SEMINYAK ~ To bring wonderful new things into your life, you must first make space for them. To create more flow, give more. This explains how.


Case Study


A client, Peter, came from Jakarta, bringing just about every single problem or negative belief that I had come across in the past three years – all in one person! A whole series of ideas about worthlessness, suffering and struggle had caused him to attract terrible treatment, neglect, the loss of his children and possessions and on and on. We got down to work (he was willing) and whizzed through a huge list of beliefs in an hour and a half, changing them all. He looked and felt so much lighter. The session felt like a review of my past three years’ work, appropriate for this time of year. Afterwards I dreamed all night of all the issues involved, and awoke to write a whole new list of beliefs that will help more people – in fact, some helped this same client again when he came back two days later. It is a wonderful thing that all the knowledge that comes from each person can be shared and passed on to help others. We are all the sum total of consciousness, creating consciousness. We contribute merely by being who we are.   

How will you help others during the New Year? And if you already help a lot, how may you encourage others to do the same?


Meditation – Review of the Year


Relax, breathe and find yourself sitting in a fireside chair next to Father Christmas. He jovially offers you a silver-and-red, shiny cracker. You notice he is wearing a red clown nose. You pull the cracker and five or six little silver charms fly out into your lap. As you pick up each charm one by one, it grows into a significant event from the year and you take a moment to savor it. Carry on picking up the charms, watching the scenes and listening to Santa talking to you. When ready, gently come back to the room.

Now write some free-form writing about your year. If you have regrets, write “I wish I hadn’t…” and “I wish I had…” and list them. Acknowledge what you have learned in the process, and forgive yourself for whatever you didn’t know at the time.


New York


I lived in New York for a year when I was 25. I loved the brilliant blue skies of winter, the glittering metallic buildings, the freshness of the air, the excitement. New York had  “designer tramps” – hobos with attitude. One lady had a shopping trolley with funky attachments – bendy metal rods that made it like a spacemobile.  Another, filthy old guy in a raincoat tied with string used to lurch around with a wine bottle, yelling “save the whales – save the winos!” I saw him twice in one day in different parts of the city.  (Maybe his message was specially for me.) It’s 20 years ago yet I still remember him. He had style, attitude, a message and a cool way of delivering it. And he had not compromised on his living style – he was doing his own thing (however absurd). Who do you remember in your life, and why?

Role models guide us, giving us something to aspire to and emulate. We are role models for our children, friends and people we work with. Being a role model is a combination of style and deeply held personal values. When you discover the values of one of your own role models, you reveal some of your own deepest values.

One of my heroes is George Boole (1815-1864). The father of modern computing, he invented the eponymous Boolean logic, a way of writing logic using Ifs and Ands, which can instruct computers to do things. I’m personally grateful for his invention; it’s an invaluable tool in understanding the mind. Boole was a fellow of the Academy of Mathematicians and was also renowned for being a nice person and giving good tea parties. Another of my heroes is John Lennon. I admire the way he combined outlandish creativity with idealism, took no nonsense from people and had an acerbic wit. If you put these two people together and add a touch of Madonna and Marilyn Monroe, for me that would be about perfect.

Who do you most admire? Take a moment to reflect on one of your heroes. If you don’t have one, choose one. Write a few sentences describing why you admire them. Now see if you can identify the underlying values. 

To get you started; I’ll do mine: George Boole – persistent, intellectual, brilliant, inventive, kind, thoughtful, constructive contribution that can be built on. John Lennon – altruistic, witty, creative, idealistic, didn’t waste time, told people what he thought, did what he believed in and wanted. A pinch of Madonna and Marilyn Monroe would add glamour, daring, uniqueness, vulnerability and talent as well. What did you get?


Meditation – Presents


Relax, breathe and find yourself back by the fireside with Santa. He is drinking a glass of sherry and smoking a cigar, one leg crossed over his knee. He begins to chat, and offers you a drink and a seat. You hear sleigh bells outside, where it’s snowing. Santa’s sleigh arrives with reindeer and lots of parcels, some for you and some for others. Take your time helping elves distribute parcels, watching people opening and enjoying them and enjoying yours. Notice which you like best – giving or receiving? You notice a poor little boy standing at the edge of the crowd in a pale blue outfit, without any presents, blowing on his cold hands. You go to Santa and arrange a special present for him, send it over and watch him open it. Notice how you feel, what happens and what you want to do now. When ready, gently come back to the room.


Exercise – Out with the Old


Choose something to throw out, representing the old year (old shoes?). Something meaningful – not your toothbrush; that’s cheap.  Now invest it with all the things you would like to let go of, and as you throw it out, say: “I bless you, thank you, forgive you and release you.”


Exercise – In with the New


Next: time to shop for something new, symbolizing the brand New Year you wish to create. Think about the feelings you would like to feel and embody during the New Year. Love? Kindness? Abundance? Gentleness? Greatness? Power? Choose something that makes you feel that way, so you remember.

While you are out, also buy a gift for somebody else, representing what you want to give in the New Year. Choice? Freedom? Consideration? Love?


Review of Next Year


Relax, and find yourself at the end of next year, December 2007, about to do an exercise, reviewing the year. Imagine yourself sitting, writing some free-form text looking back and reviewing the year. You write “I wish I hadn’t…” and “I wish I had…”; “I’m so glad I did…” and “I’m so glad I didn’t” and list them. “If I’d thought of it, I could have…” and “If I’d known, I could have…” An angel comes and blows on your text, filling it with light and showing you some more ways. Enjoy the feeling and absorb the knowing. The angel hands you threads, the new beginning of each thing, and you hold them in your hands.

When ready, breathe and gently return to the room and write it all down. Now you have a whole year to make it happen!

(This exercise can be repeated during the year, reviewing the past month and jumping forward to review the coming month, if you like. It helps you learn from your experiences, plan and gain inspired ideas and new ways.)

Postscript: Peter loves to write, and wanted to write a book, sharing his experiences and helping others, and we discussed how linking this with his favorite charities could help his project to be realized more easily and quickly – and help a good cause – a win-win.


(Names and details mentioned have been changed to protect identities.).


NEXT ISSUE: Success in 2007


Jelila is an internationally renowned transformational coach and wellness guide who practices in Asia and Australia. She is now in Bali, offering coaching and workshops. If you have a question you would like answered in this column, please write to Jelila at jelila@thebalitimes.com. www.jelila.com; Bali Tel: +62 (0) 361 766259, +62 (0) 81 239 43354. Singapore: +65 6225 4381; www.sanctumsg.com

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