Breeding Success

KUTA, Bali ~ Are you from a rich family? If so, you will have naturally imbibed the “rich” beliefs that are a part of your heritage, helping you create wealth (unless you happen to have rejected them). From a poor family? Then you have grown up among “poor” beliefs – ideas that perpetuate poverty and will recreate that unless you overcome those poor ideas and replace them with wealthy ones.

An Indonesian from a rich Chinese background and living in Jakarta, Nancy felt constrained by the requirements of her family that dictated she must be a part of their business. During a transformational healing session, we touched on some fascinating beliefs about nationality and wealth.

Although rich now, Nancy’s family were originally poor immigrants. “They had to work very, very hard in order to survive,” she said. It transpired that Nancy still believed she herself had to work very, very hard to survive, and in a sense still saw herself as an immigrant.

Are you an immigrant to Bali? Even if you see yourself as a privileged expat, you may find that any beliefs you hold about immigrants are also true for yourself. The colonial can become the slave when you change country. (Write down immigrants are and make a list of whatever you believe is true about them to discover what your truth is.)

In the healing with Nancy, I saw her ancestors.

“Lots of heavy washing flapping in the wind,” I said.

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “My grandmother had a Chinese laundry and worked very hard.”

I also saw my own ancestors during this healing. My great-grandmother used to clean house. I saw her scrubbing steps. My great-grandfather used to look after horses in the Regents Canal basin in Camden Town, London, feeding them hay. He was from Ireland. I saw how hard our ancestors worked to create a position in life, which is passed on, of course, both in beliefs and physical wealth.

Where are you from? If from Bali or elsewhere in Indonesia, you may have a strong connection to farming the land. Does this represent independence, growing your own food? Or does it link with ideas of the workers and the master? If you are from Australia, your ancestors left (or were ousted from) one country to create and survive in a new one. If you are Dutch, English or American, you have a history of colonialism, possibly even slavery. Reflect on and embrace your nationality and ancestry. Allow it to all be okay.

This meditation connects you with your ancestors. You will find you can talk to them and access their wisdom, whether living or dead:

Relax, breathe and find yourself in a comfortable place holding a crystal. Imagine, and connect with your mother. Invite her to come to you. Hear and feel her. Share what you need to. When ready, ask her to connect you with her mother, your grandmother. Share with and connect with her. When ready, ask your grandmother to connect you with her mother. Share with her. When ready, gently return to the room.

Repeat with the other side of your family, and your male line if you wish.

At one point during Nancy’s healing, I said: “You suddenly look Malaysian.”

“Yes,” she replied, “my grandmother was Malaysian.”

We discovered her Malaysian ancestry had been sidelined. Malaysians were “poor,” so she thought of herself as purely Chinese, negating a whole aspect of her nationality. She looked beautiful and her face suddenly softened and seemed flatter, moon-like and radiant as this part of her reentered.

The idea you can’t take it with you is not strictly true. We tend to reincarnate into the same families, thus reinheriting the wealth we previously created. We also reinherit our wealth beliefs. This is how rich families continue to create even more wealth.

Anyway, back to success – this long meander through nationality, race and history has great bearing on it. If we are cutting parts ourselves off, we also tend to cut off our flow of supply, of wealth.

We need collectively to choose to believe in abundance and wealth for all, and release the oppressive, “lack-induced” and grasping aspects of our past history.

Do you just want to be successful?

Or are you fighting for survival?

Are successful people nice? Or do you believe they must have trodden on others to get there? Do you believe in lack, that there is not enough for everyone? If so, you may subconsciously believe: I must have to hurt others in order to get what I want. Or: People with expensive things must not be very nice (so you wouldn’t want to be one of those people and will push wealth away). And: I’m afraid I must/may have to hurt myself/others in order to survive. Embrace these using the process given previously in my column (visit

David wanted help giving up smoking.

“I’m battling to give up,” he said.

On a deep level, he was battling not just to give up smoking, but for his very survival – never having enough, struggling to support his daughters, with whom he was over-controlling and experiencing lack and difficulty with his ex.

Every day was a struggle. David felt that “something is holding me to smoking against my will.”

“So you feel oppressed?” I asked.

David nodded.

He had the following beliefs keeping him in survival mode, preventing success and wealth:

• I’m afraid I must have to battle, struggle and fight to survive.

• I’m fighting to give up (literally, fighting in order to be defeated)

• I’m afraid I have to do something I don’t want in order to survive (this is fear of prostitution – doing a job you hate just for the money)

• I must be or may be oppressed, oppressive (results in bullying, being bullied)

• I feel out of control (results in controlling, controlled, or out of control behavior – like smoking)

• I must be stupid for allowing myself to be oppressed, and other things.

• I’m grasping

• I’m so afraid of loss I can’t even begin

This last one was very important, severely limiting David.

Finally, he mused: “I wish I could give away the responsibility for all these things I have to do.”

Which came down to:

• I must have someone else to share my burden. I can’t handle it alone.

• I can’t survive on my own

• I must not or may not be able to handle all this myself*

• I must need or may need help

• I have no backbone. I must need support.

I explained the belief about not being able to handle all this myself will lead you to always create more all this than you can handle. So if you tend to overburden yourself with too much to do, embrace and surrender to the above beliefs.

David’s trigger for smoking was sitting in the car, in traffic. Suddenly feeling trapped (“oppressed and out of control” – his deep inner pattern) he would reach for a cigarette. I suggested that the next time he felt the trigger, he put his hand on his heart, connect with his feelings and just acknowledge that he feels out of control and let it be okay.

As I gave David energy healing, resolving ancestral memories in his aura, I saw him in battle mode, as a drummer boy in a French blue uniform, and I sung him a song about setting down arms, ending the battle and coming into the garden of creativity, plenty and delight.

You can try my healing music: Cozy now offer 8 different CDs of to listen to during their massage and reflexology treatments in Kuta – address below.

If you want to be successful, or even just to give up smoking, the key is to understand the underlying patterns and release them so you may easily create what you really want. These vary for individuals, though I give broad themes here. Once resolved, the results relieve so much struggle, are permanent and so worthwhile. Why struggle for success when by eliminating a few deep patterns, you can achieve it easily?

(Names & details mentioned have been changed to protect identities.)

NEXT ISSUE: Independent Relationships


Jelila is an internationally renowned healer, hypnotherapist and transformational guide who practices in Asia and Australia. She is now in Bali offering inspiring transformational coaching, healing and workshops. Try or buy Jelila’s healing music at Cozy: Jl. Sunset Blok A/3, North Simpang Siur, near Kuta roundabout. Tel: 0361 766762). If you have a question you would like answered in this column, write to Jelila at; Bali tel: +62 (0) 81 239 43354.

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