Gaining Control, and Taking Flight

By Jelila
For The Bali Times

SEMINYAK ~ Do you feel overwhelmed, out of control and reach for cigarettes or other addictions to support yourself? Do you feel limited and deprived? Discover how to understand and overcome the roots of such addictions, here.

Addictions are all about feeling out of control. If you exclaim loudly, “But I’m not out of control!” that means, subconsciously, you really are feeling that. Just allow it to be okay, which is the secret to regaining control. By having an addiction, we are expressing that we secretly feel out of control as we play with something that controls us. Yet how can we possibly be out of control? Who, if not us, is controlling our life?

Interestingly, in our history as a race on this planet, we have often experienced “being taken over” or being enslaved and forced to do the will of others. This is a great loss of control, and may result in subconscious beliefs such as the ones below. Imagine how a slave would feel, as you consider:

I must/may have to hurt myself/suffer in order to survive.

I must/may have to compromise myself and my beliefs in order to survive.

It is not safe to express myself or to do what I want on my own (dependency).

I must have to do what someone else wants in order to survive.

I feel out of control and therefore:

I need to feel out of control in order to survive (aha! Do you get that? This is why we need and even enjoy our addictions, literally feeling that they keep us alive).

Then, of course, being a slave, is the over-comfy feeling of having someone else looking after you; however, they are only doing that in the way that ladybirds farm greenfly – to get milk! The enslavers do not have your best interests at heart. Lulled into a sense of false security and lacking the will, courage or empowerment to fight back (and genuinely fearing our death if we become involved in conflict), we sell ourselves on “This is okay and not so bad, really. It is not so bad being under someone else’s control.” Then we act that out in all kinds of situations, addictions and relationships where we are controlled by, or controlling, others.

Releasing Your Enslavement

This is very powerful and gives you immediate self-control. I call it my “empowerment belief.” Please share it with as many people as you can because we need to overthrow this old slave mentality on our planet.

“I am not sure that I am not my own master.” Embrace it using the process below. The results are profound. You will suddenly see where others have been controlling you, and vice versa, and gradually you will be able to regain control over yourself and your life in a positive way. (And yes, it may help you stop smoking.)

Further, here is another extremely powerful idea for you to reflect on a moment:

“When I feel a feeling that I don’t understand or that makes me feel uncertain, or out of control, I deprive myself.”

When we have this belief, we cut ourselves off from people and situations, whenever we have just had a feeling that makes us feel out of control. With this belief, with addictions, we have a feeling and then we deprive ourselves (of health, of well-being, even of control) by using cigarettes, drugs, alcohol etc. We are also literally “punishing ourselves for our feelings.”

If someone sends you an SMS and you don’t reply for a long time, you have this belief (they made you feel something by what they said; you are literally depriving yourself from them in order to regain control. And depriving yourself of the original feeling). If you feel out of control about spending and deprive yourself by buying cheap things and not getting what you really need, then you have this belief, which prevents you giving to yourself and others. If you deprive yourself by walking when you need a taxi, if you deprive yourself by helping others instead of helping yourself, then you have this belief.

Change it, and you will be able to give to yourself and be kind to yourself (and kind to others) without constantly cutting off.  Magnificently (I love this!), the Universe will cease the “stop/go” tantalizing game that you may have been experiencing in your life: when you stop depriving yourself, turning off and on your supply in response to your feelings, the Universe stops depriving you, and flow will come to you constantly and continuously, in the way that you desire.

You can try the belief changes above for yourself, and these ones too:

Feel that your feet are connected to the ground. Invite all of yourself to be present. Say aloud:

I choose to believe “I am not sure that I am not my own master.”

I love myself when I believe “I am not sure that I am not my own master.”

And I embrace it, I surrender.

This belief is mega – as the new information settles in your magnetic field, you may feel momentarily woozy. Take it slowly, rest afterwards, drink water.

Other Beliefs:

I am not sure that I am entirely under my control.

I punish myself for my feelings.

I deprive myself to regain control of myself.

I must/may hurt myself to be in control.

Feelings are dangerous.

I feel my relationships with women limit me.

I feel my relationships with men limit me.

Next issue: Joy, Peace and Ecstasy

Jelila is practicing at Wellbeing Spa, 66B Jalan Laksmana, Seminyak. Tel: +62 (0)361 735573. If you have a question you would like help with in this column, write to Jelila at

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