Spiritual Times

SEMINYAK ~ Discover a new framework for understanding yourself that can help you to achieve inner harmony and understand yourself, so you may better achieve your goals and live a happy life, here.

Many theories about aspects of the self have been put forward, from Freud’s idea of id, ego and super-ego, to Jung’s concept of the collective unconscious and the idea of transactional analysis founded by Dr. Eric Berne, perhaps best-known from the book I’m OK, You’re OK written by Thomas Harris in the 60s. Eckhard Tolle’s famous book The Power of Now also explores the ego.

Building on this, my own research has led me to discover a new understanding of aspects of the self which I hope you will find a very practical, useful framework for understanding and harmonizing what is going on inside of you, and getting your inner team all going in the same direction, on an ongoing basis, reducing stress and allowing you to understand, and ultimately eliminate, the critical voices that you hear in your head, and create more harmony and peace in your life.

I call my discovery The Gift and here is a meditation to introduce you to it:

The Gift Meditation

Relax, breathe and find yourself in a sunny meadow surrounded by daisies and buttercups. As you lie on the grass, twiddling flowers beneath your fingers, a child comes rushing past and you greet them. In the distance, a man walks towards you and he comes to join you. A woman appears and comes and sits with you. Then a wise person comes and joins the group. Sit with the group for as long as you wish, noticing whether they are short or tall and sharing feelings with one and all. When you are ready, gently come back to the room.

How did that feel? You have just met your inner team – four crucial identities of The Gift that we all have inside of us (whether we are male or female). They are:

1. The Masculine – action, doing, working, thinking, organizing, logic, ego, finite, reality, time-based.

2. The Feminine – feeling, intuiting, sensing, relating, infinite, timeless.

3. The Child – playful, fun, creative, inventive.

4. The Higher Self – knowing, wise, concerned with the good of all.

Each identity has a very different perspective on life, different beliefs and different priorities – really like four different people. Yet these four all meet inside your head, and the way in which they relate is exactly how you will experience your real relationships happening around you. Get your inner family relating happily, and your outer relationships follow, because the real world is simply a reflection of the consciousness inside of you.

When four people are having an argument in a room, you need to mediate. The same thing is true when the four people inside your head are all going in different directions. The first step to mediating is getting to know the players, discovering their various priorities and overcoming their fears and reservations (judgments) about each other. The next step is to build bridges between common areas so that they may meet each other and reach agreement – so that they may create something worthwhile together.

How Things Are Supposed To Work

The Inner Feminine, feeling part of you comes up with a wonderful intuitive idea – for example: “Let’s open a new branch in Paris!” The Inner Masculine (instead of saying: “Shut up, you useless female”) says: “Great idea! I’ll make a plan!” The Child pipes in: “Yippee, let’s go to The Pompidou Centre to see the fountains; it’ll be fun!” And instead of saying, “Shut up; you are only a child,” the inner parents (Masculine and Feminine) say: “What a great idea!” and incorporate it into the plan. Lastly, the Higher Self says: “And if you open your branch in a certain area, you can help the local community more.” And instead of saying, “What do you know? You’re not even real!” the inner family say: “Great!” and includes that in the plan.

Each aspect of the self has a very different outlook and priority on life, and when you don’t know this, it can feel like you are being torn in different directions – which is a major cause of stress. Here is a summary of the priorities of each aspect of the self:

Inner Masculine: Success

Inner Feminine: Love

Inner Child: Fun

Higher Self: Peace

If you can create plans that truly incorporate each aspect, you will find much greater fulfillment, happiness and meaning in your life.

Exercise – A Meal for Four

Next time you are ordering a meal, relax, breathe and get in touch with your four Gift characters. First, the active principle – the part of you that organizes, does things, makes things happen, works, is real. And ask: “What would you like to eat?” Now contact the part of you that feels and is intuitive and ask the same question. Now ask the playful one. And the wise one. What did you discover? Usually my clients respond that each character wants something different. Typically the Masculine wants steak, the Feminine wants something more delicate like salmon with butter sauce, the Child wants spaghetti or pizza and the Higher Self wants vegetarian, fish, or nothing at all. Talk to your inner characters. What can you choose that will satisfy all of them?

Just knowing about the four Gift characters seems to help my clients a great deal – suddenly they can hear the bubbly, playful voice within them and recognize it as the Child. Or know the thrusting, active, happening voice and recognize the Masculine. Or hear and listen to the gentle yearnings of the heart and intuition, which is the Feminine. Or tune in to the simple is-ness and wisdom that is the Higher Self. Practice this week and see if you can unravel the cacophony going on in your head, to hear the different voices. It will help you enormously to understand what is happening within you, and to mediate so that you create truly fulfilling, happy, meaningful creations for yourself and others.

Next issue: Why the World Feels Stressed – And What We Can Do about It.

Jelila practices in Bali at Wellbeing Spa, 66B Jl. Laksmana, Seminyak. Tel: +62 (0)361 735573. If you have a question you would like help with in this column, write to Jelila at jelila@jelila.com.

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