Spiritual Times – The Inner Child

Releasing the Creativity & Fun of The Inner Child – The Gift

By Jelila
For The Bali Times

SEMINYAK ~ Discover “The Gift” – a new framework for creating inner harmony. This week, healing the hurt inner child, and empowering the magical child within so you can express that wonderful, free, simple wisdom and creativity that is the divine child.

The Gift is my concept of four important inner identities that we all need to have working together to fulfill ourselves. They are:  Masculine, Feminine, Inner Child, Higher Self.

The Inner Child is the part of us that wants to have fun. Highly creative, with a simple wisdom and truth, the Inner Child often has simple yet brilliant solutions to problems. Advertising execs and designers easily access their Inner Child – enabling them to create wonderfully artistic, whacky concepts to solve problems and fulfill needs.

Your Inner Child needs to be heard, listened to, respected and given the resources they need to express themselves creatively. Otherwise they tend to act up, just like a real child, and have tantrums. (When this happens, your frustrated and repressed Inner Child identity may take over, causing you to splurge on whatever you perceive as having fun. This may mean playing hookey from work, a shopping spree or drinking too much). Positive expressions of the Inner Child include:  sports, games, playing with children, creative pursuits, picnics, being in nature.

Sometimes our Inner Child is vulnerable and hurt, afraid and tired of not having its emotional and physical needs met by its parents – which are, within you, the Inner Masculine, the part of you that organizes, make things happen and provides physically; and the Inner Feminine, the part of you that feels and loves.

Case Study – Inner Child

John came to me feeling dissatisfied with life. “I work all the time!” he exclaimed. “Busy at the factory, I don’t connect with my wife. I’m successful but I don’t know what to do with myself.”

John recently reconnected with his children, estranged through divorce, and was excited about meeting his son (a sign that he was getting ready to reconnect with his Inner Child, having been mostly caught up in his Inner Masculine, working self, for so long, and also being rather disconnected from his wife, representing his Inner Feminine). We spoke about ways that John liked to enjoy himself, and his eyes lit up at playing guitar. “I used to love that!” he said. “I just got too busy with work to do it.”

Most of us make our Inner Masculine our dominant identity and stay there most of the time. This is why the world is so focused on physical things, commerce and work, and has little time to play. And is so stressed – because we need to meet the needs of all the parts of the self, not just one. I guided John to change a deep belief about needing to harm himself to get what he wants, allowing him to stop believing that he needs to harm some parts of himself in order to gratify others, making it easier to balance (you can change this for yourself, below).

Here is an easy exercise to show you the state of your Inner Child. Don’t just read it – really try it! Relax, breathe deeply and imagine the scene in sounds, pictures or feelings. Let it be how it is, whatever comes to mind is perfect.

Meditation – Inner Child Treasures

Relax, breathe and imagine yourself rummaging in a dressing-up box, pulling out all sorts of costumes. You find a trapdoor in the bottom and open it, revealing golden light and steps. A child carrying a candle beckons, fingers on lips – shhh! Allow the child to lead you by the hand to their special place and show you their treasures. Spend as long as you want looking at the treasures with the child, and ask them what they need. Now work with the child to make their place really perfect, no holds barred. Allow yourself to imagine giving everything that pleases the child. Lastly, make a large deposit of cash in the child’s money box, and give the child a gift. Enjoy the reaction. When ready, gently return.

Was your Inner Child’s place well-tended? Was it easy to put money in the child’s moneybox? How generous are you to your Inner Child? Do you trust your Child with money, or are you miserly, afraid they are a bottomless pit?

Experiment with being generous to the Inner Child – for the creativity and magic of the child is stymied without the support of the parent. (A kid with no hula-hoop cannot hula!) Make a promise to yourself to fulfill one thing on your Inner Child’s wish-list this week. (Maybe you need to go to the beach, to a movie, buy yourself a toy, or play?)

This next meditation takes your relationship with your Inner Child to a new level, enabling you to be more creative.

Meditation – Activating The Magical Child: Doll’s House

Relax, breathe and visit a fabulous toymaker’s workshop. Elves sit on benches humming. Jars overflow with colored glass, shells, glitter, diamonds. Boxes, wood, fabric, furs and leather are piled high. Glue spills from jars. Sewing machines thrum. The elves sing a high-pitched magical song as they methodically work, sew, build. In the centre of the room is the framework of your perfect doll’s house. A fairy is there to help you magic it just the way you want it. Play with the fairy to shape your dolls house. How many floors? How big are the rooms? What shape? How are the windows? Is there a staircase? Play until you get the structure just how you want it. Next, the decorating team arrives. Will it be a shell-house? Contemporary? Flowery? Sparkly? Furry? Play about with your doll’s house for as long as you like. Then relax and gently return.


Try this process, which creates positive transformation for the Inner Child. Invite every part of yourself to be fully present. Now say aloud:

I choose to believe I am not heard.

I love myself when I believe I am not heard.

And I embrace it, and I surrender.

Take it slowly, rest afterwards, drink water.

Repeat the process for each of the following beliefs:

Nobody loves me.

I feel lonely and frightened.

I must have to harm myself to get what I want.

I’m afraid I can’t fulfill my child’s needs, or no.

I’m never satisfied with myself.

Postscript: John resolved to buy a guitar and get playing! How will you allow your Inner Child to play, this week?

Next issue: Accessing the Wisdom of the Higher Self

Jelila practices in Bali at Wellbeing Spa, Jl. Laksmana 66B, Seminyak. Tel: +62 (0)361 735573. If you have a question you would like help with in this column, please write to Jelila at jelila@jelila.com.

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