Spiritual Times – Being Ready

By Jelila

For The Bali Times

SEMINYAK ~ Do you feel that “something is stopping you” – from success, or from completing a project? Find out how to be ready, so that your dreams may be realized, here.

Case Study – Being ready

Gerard came to me because he was having trouble completing things. “Just as projects are about to come to fruition, something happens to stop them. I can’t seem to finish things.” In a transformational healing session, we explored Gerard’s subconscious beliefs. It transpired as a child Gerard had a difficult relationship with his sister, often fighting, competing to win the attention (and, to his mind, the love) of his parents. It left him believing “I’m afraid I have to hurt my sister to have what I want” and “I have to hurt to have what I want” and even “hurt = what I want.”

So when Gerard comes close to “having what he wants” – i.e. completing one of his projects – he subconsciously sabotages it, to avoid the hurt that he secretly believes comes with having what he wants, or if he completes the project, he hurts himself or somebody in the process (for example, by working much too hard).

I asked Gerard whether he had hurt any women to get what he wanted. Gerard pondered, then exclaimed “Yes. I hurt a girlfriend, by rejecting her to take a job overseas that I really wanted.” I explained that the girlfriend, to his subconscious mind, was similar enough to his sister for this belief to kick in, “I must have to hurt my sister to have what I want” (so when he got the job he wanted, it also involved hurting a woman).

Gerard said: “I always feel I’ll have to leave a place before I’m ready. When I leave Bali, it’s a mad panic to pack my stuff and I end up throwing half of it away.” On a deep level, it transpired Gerard was in a panic about the process of life itself, and concerned that he would have to “leave before he was ready” – in other words, die before he was ready to. This subconscious fear was expressing itself in small ways in various areas of his life – feeling he was under pressure to be on time, always feeling late and rushed to leave. I guided Gerard to embrace the belief (you can do this too, below) and he felt immediately more comfortable and relaxed. He was also “afraid of being complete” – afraid that if he attained too much, and became “whole and complete” as a person, that he would then be compelled to die. This is because he believed we are “here to learn” – so, if there is nothing more to learn, we no longer need to be here!

If you feel like this, or if you feel that life is solely about learning, consider instead that it might be about enjoying – or at least, about both – about “learning in an enjoyable way” (rather than through difficulty or suffering).

Sometimes what we want isn’t coming to us because we haven’t asked in the right way – or we haven’t asked for the “whole thing” – for example, you need to sell your car to go to Paris, so you ask the universe for help selling your car – but forget to ask for help with going to Paris! So ask for the main goal, not the steps on the way.

Often as children, our harassed parents use strategies to stop us asking for things – because fulfilling our requests is challenging, and makes them feel inadequate. Was this true for you? Typical parental phrases include “I want doesn’t get!” (a way of programming you never to ask for what you want – which also programs you to believe that if you do ask, you won’t receive it!) Change this belief using the process below, so that you know that you do, in fact get what you want and that it’s ok to ask.

Another reason for not getting what we want is not being clear on it, or having an inner conflict where part of us wants it, part doesn’t. Here’s a simple and effective meditation healing to help:

Magic Balls

Hold out your right hand, and imagine it is holding a ball representing “the thing you want.” Notice what the ball is made from. If it had a sound, what would it be? If it had a taste, a smell, what would they be? Now imagine a ball in your left hand, representing “my resistance to the thing I want.” Notice what it’s made from, the sound, smell and taste. Now turn to the right hand ball and ask “What is your highest intention for me?” and now ask the left hand ball the same question. Now bring both balls gently together into your heart. (You may feel the energies combining as you do it – this is a powerful energy healing you can do for yourself, whenever you feel any kind of conflict or uncertainty).

Now try this meditation – simply feel, hear, or imagine the first thing that comes to you to enjoy it.

Meditation – Being Ready

Relax, breathe and find yourself looking down at a scene of yourself, walking on a beautiful seashore with the one you love. Watch the body language of the two people for as long as you like. When you are ready, gently return.

Belief Change:

Use this simple, powerful process to release deep beliefs and free yourself:

Connect with the active, Masculine part of yourself and invite it to be present. Invite in the feeling Feminine, the playful Child, the wise Higher Self and say aloud:

I choose to believe “I’m not ready.”

I love myself when I believe “I’m not ready.”

And I embrace it, and I surrender.

Take it slowly, rest afterwards, drink water.

Repeat the process for each of these:

I’m afraid of being complete, or not.

I’m afraid I have to leave before I’m ready.

I feel hopeless.

I enjoy/love hurting myself.

I am not ready to return.

It’s not safe to ask for, and have, everything I want.

I’m dying for love.

I must deprive myself to stay in control.

There’s a lack of time, here.

“I want” does not equal “get.”

I’m not sure that I’m compatible, in agreement, with myself.

I am not what I want.

Next issue: Love at First Sight

Jelila practices healing in Bali at Wellbeing Spa, Jl. Laksmana 66B, Seminyak. Tel: +62 (0)361 735573. Music/Blog online: www.myspace.com/jelilajelilala. If you have a question you would like help with in this column, please write to Jelila at jelila@jelila.com.

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