SpirtuTimes – Allowing Yourself to Love

SEMINYAK ~ Love at first sight – sensing and feeling a connection with someone we have yet to meet and do not know – is more common than you think. But what do you do when you find that person? Can you say “yes” and allow the relationship to blossom? Find out how to allow yourself love, here.

Pauline came to me angry and frustrated about her relationships. “I met someone wonderful. He feels like my soul mate, but I just don’t seem to be able to get it together with him,” she said.

We explored Pauline’s relationship history. It transpired from childhood that she always had male friends she hung around with, yet the relationships never blossomed to fruition. In a deep exploration of Pauline’s subconscious beliefs, we eventually discovered she was afraid of dying, or of not living for long enough (a very common fear, though not one we often articulate).

Strangely, the result was that Pauline was unable to ask her potential boyfriends for what she wanted, in case they said no (because “no” would mean the relationship “dying” and that pressed on her fear button about death). So that left her living, literally, in purgatory, in relationships that never ended, but never got started either, all to avoid the fear of “dying.” Pauline needed to overcome her fear of dying, so that she could be free to ask for what she wanted, and then either go ahead with the relationship, or allow any moribund relationships (i.e. where the other person is not interested) to die, so that she could move on and find a living one.

Pauline’s Higher Self (her consciousness) was also afraid of its physical relationship, the relationship that consciousness has with the body, which is the very prime relationship that we all have: the fear that consciousness is afraid to be in the body. So she was “damned if I do, damned if I don’t,” afraid of dying and afraid of living as well.

If you fear physical impermanence, then you may find it difficult or painful if and when relationships change from being sexual to being friendships or vice versa. Because you have lost the idea of a physically permanent relationship, which, fascinatingly, is what makes us wish to commit to stay with this person, forever. We are endeavoring to create a safe feeing of permanence. Whereas, without this fear, you are free to just enjoy your relationships in whatever form, for however long they last. Beautiful butterfly that you are. When you change this belief, suddenly, the length of relationships stops being a concern – freeing you to really live in the moment, which is an absolute joy. And in the miraculous paradoxical way of these things, it suddenly frees your relationship from the stranglehold you had on it, so that it may actually last.

To the subconscious mind, your physical relationship includes: the relationship your consciousness has with the body, all your friendships, relationships and love relationships, your relationships with all physical things. So changing these beliefs affect all of these things, in wonderful ways, freeing you.

I guided Pauline to release these beliefs, which I highly recommend you do, too.

Belief Change:

Connect with the active Masculine part of yourself and invite it to be present. Invite in the feeling Feminine, the playful Child, the wise Higher Self and say aloud:

I choose to believe “I’m afraid of my physical relationship finishing, not being long enough, or not.”

I love myself when I believe “I’m afraid of my physical relationship finishing, not being long enough, or not.”

And I embrace it, and I surrender.

Take it slowly, rest afterwards, drink water.

Repeat the process for each of these:

I’m afraid of my physical relationship, or not.

I’m afraid of physical impermanence, or not.

I’m afraid that I won’t sustain myself, or not.

I’m afraid to blossom or not.

I’m not sure of my physical relationship.

Meditation – Singing Your Song

Relax, breathe and find yourself sitting around a table with a group of wonderful players, all making music. Notice what instrument you are playing. When you are ready, hear the sounds coming and blend in your own music and song. Play with this for as long as you like. Enjoy the blending music. When ready, gently return.

Next issue: Divine Guidance

If you have a question you would like help with in this column, please write to Jelila at jelila@jelila.com.

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