Bamboozled by Bamboo
By Amy Chavez
For The Bali Times
The other day my husband went out to cut down some bamboo. This bamboo is all around our house and gets so tall it starts hitting the roof tiles and eventually works them loose till they fall off.
Now keep in mind that this is Jakarta Bamboo, so as you can imagine, it is probably not all that happy living in Bali. Keep this in mind because itâ€™s important.
So my husband Paul, who you may notice has the same name as the mythical lumberjack Paul Bunyan, went outside to chop down the bamboo.
He returned about an hour later and said in a smooth, calm voice, â€œHoney, could you please bring me a band aid?â€ Because of this smooth, calm voice, I knew it was nothing too serious.
But when I went outside with the band aid, there was blood dripping from his hand. A string of bamboo had sliced his little finger. It was a small but deep cut that would need stitches.
Just a few days before, I had noticed a medical clinic near our house called Takenoko Medical Care. As it was a Japanese clinic, I figured the medical care would be quite good. The sign featured a comical drawing of a little doctor with a pointy head, glasses and a stethoscope. Remembering this clinic, and how new it looked, I took my husband there.
We arrived without an appointment but as there were no other patients in the clinic, we were immediately ushered into the back room. It occurred to me that perhaps we were their first customers.
As you have probably noticed, the Japanese people, even in Bali, tend to travel in groups. Apparently, medical care is also performed in groups. Inside the small back room stood five people who immediately swarmed around my husbandâ€™s finger, a little too enthusiastically, as if they had been sitting around all day just waiting for a finger accident. Only two of the people were wearing nametags, each bearing the title of â€œMedical Adviser.â€
As my husband started to take off the band aid, two people from the reception came into the room as well as another two people just returning from lunch. People were crowding around, actually standing in line, to see the unveiling of this finger. The way all these women swarmed around it, each trying to get a glimpse, was a bit too much like groupies. Finger groupies, waiting to get tickets to the premier of James Bondâ€™s movie Gold Finger. Who knows, maybe next theyâ€™d want to camp out all night with the finger. I was beginning to wonder if we had come to the wrong place.
The injured finger was unveiled to several â€œoohsâ€ and â€œaahs.â€ â€œItâ€™s deep,â€ remarked one of the groupies. Another said â€œooh,â€ and went straight to work cleaning the wound. Then the next person and the next, each taking turns until the finger had been cleaned by no less than five people.
All this was under the strict tutelage of the older Japanese medical adviser, who I surmised was the doctor. She made sure everyone wore rubber gloves before touching the finger, which had by now reached cult status, and everything else had to be picked up with pincers. Very long pincers. Each piece of gauze was individually unwrapped with pincers; the gauze was dipped in antiseptic with pincers and used to clean the wound – with pincers. All activity took place at least a foot away from those performing it, assuring there was absolutely no chance of infection.
With all these people in the room, I was prompted to ask, â€œWho is the doctor?â€
The younger medical adviser put up her hand. The rest, they said, were nurses, and nursesâ€™ assistants. The older Japanese medical adviser, it turns out, was a midwife (just in case the finger gave birth?).
Now on to the stitching! I expected them to bring out a Juki sewing machine with the zigzag stitching function, but instead, the doctor sewed up the finger herself. The midwife gave her some pointers, such as, â€œOpen the palm a little more until itâ€™s flat so you donâ€™t sew the finger while itâ€™s in a relaxed position.â€ The stitching took an unusually long time and included a glove change midway. In the end, there were four stitches, each tied up with a surgical knot with the ends of the threads sticking out all over the place, making the stitches look like more like four little spiders.
Upon leaving the clinic I picked up their business card and couldnâ€™t help but ask, â€œWhatâ€™s with the little man with the pointy head, glasses and stethoscope?â€
The receptionist explained, â€œThe name of the clinic is Takenoko.â€ Takenoko in Japanese means bamboo shoot. â€œThis little man is a bamboo shoot.â€
At least there was no longer any doubt we had come to the right place for an injury involving bamboo. Not only that, it finally hit me as to why the midwife was there. After all, the injury was to the baby finger.
Amy Chavez, who often succumbs to jungle fever, can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.Filed under: Arts & Entertainment