The Healing Power of Forgiveness
By Lydia Wilson
For the Bali Times
KEROBOKAN ~ Last week I wrote about how forgiving others and forgiving ourselves can free us of our painful past. And I also shared with you an effective technique that I have been using in my practice to help hundreds of my clients in overcoming their recurring physical, emotional and relationship problems.
I would also like to show you some examples of how amazing it is so that perhaps if you have been suffering from some physical or emotional distress, you might like to try it on yourself – or if you are a therapist, you may wish to combine it with your own unique healing techniques to effectively help your clients.
Here are a couple of the cases that the forgiveness technique has helped in overcoming problems (names have been changed to protect privacy):
Lisa, a 36-year-old, had recurring neck pain for six years. She told me that she had tried many different kinds of therapy but none could make her neck pain permanently go away. She was told that she had a pinched nerve in her neck.
She told me that I was her last resort because she did not know where to go anymore; she thought that perhaps I could hypnotize her to make her not feel the pain or teach her how to numb it.
Like the majority of people in the world she was frightened of hypnosis because of what she had seen on stage hypnosis shows, in Hollywood films and the news about how people are hypnotized and cheated of their money and so on. The general perception is that when you are hypnotized, you are “under the hypnotist’s control.”
However this perception is a myth. The fact is that in order for hypnosis to happen, the hypnotist needs your full cooperation and you are fully aware of what’s going on. Even though I clearly explain everything at the outset, I still come across a few clients who mention that they didn’t feel they were hypnotized. This usually happens because of their preconception of what hypnosis should be.
Hypnosis is a natural state of being that we enter into several times per day, in activities such as watching television, daydreaming, driving a car, meditation etc. I will share with you the full information of this phenomenon in next week’s edition of The Bali Times.
Back to Lisa. I explained to her that, yes, you can hypnotize yourself to not feel the pain – a lot of dentists nowadays use hypnosis in their practice for people who are fearful of injections and also to help them to relax.
However pain is also our body’s wonderful built-in alarm that tells us when something is wrong so that we can find out what is going on and find a way to heal it. To numb the pain without finding out why it is there can be dangerous. For example: A lot of headaches or migraine can just be caused by the tension that we feel or in some rare cases, it could also be from a tumor. Numbing the pain without first seeking a proper diagnosis from a doctor would be a very dangerous thing to do.
As I had found out beforehand that her neck pain had been properly diagnosed and that there was nothing seriously wrong with her body, I knew then that it was only a chronic-tension neck pain.
In the session with Lisa we found out that her pain was caused by her anger towards her controlling mother, whom she thought was a “pain in the neck.” I then guided her to do the exercise on forgiveness that I detailed in last week’s edition of The Bali Times.
Once she had cleared all her anger towards her mother, she could then truly feel and understand what made her mother the way she was and that her mother’s intention were good: that she didn’t mean to control her, as all she ever wanted and had been trying to do was to make sure that her daughter’s future would be successful and that she’ll have a happy life.
However like most of us parents who never had a proper education on how to be a good parent except from what we learned from our own parents, Lisa’s mother was doing her best in the way she knew how. Letting go of her anger and releasing her negative perceptions of her mother had permanently cured Lisa of her neck pain. I know this because about a year later, I met Lisa when she came to me for healing of her backache, which was of a different root cause. But she told me that her neck pain had completely gone on the day we had the session the year before.
Carla had been divorced for two years when she came to see me. She was looking very sad, her aura was very dark and there was so much hurt feelings and anger towards her ex-husband that during our pre-talk, when she tried to tell me about her problem, just thinking of him immediately brought tears to her eyes. She could not speak, felt her chest tightening and could hardly breathe.
After I asked her to take deep breaths and to keep blowing the tightness feeling out of her mouth, she calmed down and told me the whole story.
She was married only for two years but had been living together for eight years. While they were living together, she worked to support them both while he was studying at a university. Once he got a degree, he found himself a good job and was transferred to work in a country in Asia.
Not long after that he fell in love with a local girl and one day, out of the blue, he told Carla that he didn’t love her anymore and wanted a divorce. I could understand how she was feeling: hurt and angry, betrayed, used, stupid, been treated unfairly etc. I explained to her that as long as she carried this anger with her, no matter where she went, she would still be carrying him on her back and would never be free from him.
She said she wanted to forget him and move on, but did not know how to. He was on her mind day and night and made her feel very depressed.
During the session, I guided her with the forgiveness technique and she soon released all her pain and anger towards him and truly understood what made him do what he did.
She also forgave herself for what she thought was her stupidity for letting him use her, which was not stupidity at all but actually her wonderful ability to trust others.
When Carla came back for a second and final session a week later, which was to assist her to recognize her own natural talent and how she could build a better future for herself, I was pleasantly surprised with how beautiful she looked. Her aura was bright and she simply looked radiant and happy. She told me that she had stopped thinking about her ex-husband, and had completely let go of the past. She was excited and ready to move forward with her life.
Till next week, with love and peace.
Lydia Wilson is a transpersonal hypnotherapist based in Kerobokan, Bali. If you have a question you would like answered in this column, write to Lydia at email@example.com. For more, go to www.bluelight7.com.Filed under: Discovery