The Journey to Be Whole (Part 1)

By Lydia Wilson
For The Bali Times

KEROBOKAN ~ In this week’s article, I would like to share with you what I have experienced and learned in my journey of life in finding balance. It might make sense, and it might not. All I’m asking is for you to open your mind, for it is my current truth and I am still learning.

Perhaps tomorrow I will learn a new truth. Life is a constant learning process and we shall never cease to learn till the last day of our lives.

Everyone’s truth may be different, according to what we have learned and experienced. But which is right or which is wrong? Who knows? The destination is always one. As long as we enjoy the journey of getting there, that is what matters.

Let me start by sharing this story, which happened to me in 2000. It started with an advertisement for a course in Advance Heart Healing Energy that I saw in a fortnightly magazine for expatriates in Hong Kong. I didn’t know why I felt I needed to attend it; it wasn’t a subject I was interested in. But I followed my heart and did it anyway.

There were 16 of us in the class and I enjoyed the learning experience very much. It was at the end of the course that something amazing happened. Halfway through a closing meditation, the instructor, Keith, from Sedona, asked us to say what we wanted to do with the knowledge we had gained that weekend. I was at a loss. I kept thinking about what I wanted to do with it, but nothing came to mind. All the while, I could hear, one by one, the other participants saying all the wonderful things they would like to do and yet I had no idea; so I kept thinking about it.

I kept quiet and the instructor probably assumed everyone had said what they wanted to. So he started saying what he wanted to do, which was to travel the world to teach his methods of healing.

When I heard him talking, I thought that was it: I didn’t need to say anything now, and I stopped thinking. But it was then that I suddenly felt a feeling so strong that it came right from the core of my being and I started to cry uncontrollably. Words were just pouring out of my mouth and they were: “I just want to leave my soul in the hands of my Father, who created me. I just want to be a channel of His love and I want Him to use me for whatever He wants to use me for. Here I am; use me.”

Right then, I felt a total and complete surrender of my body, mind and soul.

At that time, because of a Catholic-school upbringing, my image of God was that of an old, bearded man standing and holding a staff up above, watching over us. That’s probably why I said, “My Father, who created me.”

Then I saw a huge, beautiful, white light, so blindingly bright, coming down from above, and it entered through my head (crown chakra) and into my chest (heart chakra) area. And then I also saw, in my mind’s eye, so many figures of lights standing all around me. I couldn’t see their faces but I felt I knew they were angels, and they started bowing as if they were congratulating me. I felt so humbled and started bowing back, and said to them, “No… no. I don’t deserve it.”

When the meditation finished, my logical and sceptical mind came back and my first thought was: “No, it’s impossible. I was making it all up.” But just then I heard someone shouting excitedly and when I looked up, a man across the room was jumping up and down and shouting: “Lydia! Lydia! I saw so many angels all around you!” I was flabbergasted. I asked him if he was sure and he said yes, that he had seen them.

Before then, even though I often thought there were no coincidences in life and that things were meant to happen for a reason, I wasn’t really sure of it. But that day it was proven right to me. It was strange because this man was one of my clients, a Reiki master who had come to see me six months earlier because he felt his Ajna Chakra (the third eye) was blocked and wanted me to help him clear it. We cleared the block through regression, where he saw himself being killed by a spear that went right through his forehead in one of his previous lives.

If he had not been there that day and had not told me what he had seen, the angels, I am sure that to this day I would still not believe what I saw.

That was probably why they guided him to me six months before and guided both of us to be on the same course. They probably knew that I have a very sceptical mind and that my logical mind is so strong I needed help to be convinced. I know this because there have often been times when I’ve read or heard something that even though it made sense, I didn’t believe it was true until two or three weeks later, when a client would come with a specific issue and during a session would prove to me it was true.

It was from then on that I’ve believed in angels and have since learned to work with them and ask them to guide and protect both me and my clients during sessions. I have learned to have faith and I feel secure in knowing that it is not my Ego self that’s guiding the session. And I learned to trust that all is well and for our highest good.

Up to now, I feel that all my life has been a wonderfully interesting journey of learning and healing. There were a lot of times when I felt the extreme pain of suffering when I followed my Ego self, such as self-pity, the blame game, expressed and unexpressed anger, guilt, loneliness, resentment and frustration.

They made me learn to forgive and let go of them one by one, which made it possible for me to experience joy, the freedom of a peaceful mind and to appreciate what I have become, for without them I would have not learned anything; nor would I be able to appreciate what I am now. I have learned to love and accept myself – the dark sides and the light sides of me – for each of them brings me a gift of life, of balance and harmony. They brought me the realization that life is a journey to be whole.

I will continue on this subject next week.

Till then, love and light.

Lydia Wilson is a transpersonal hypnotherapist and trainer based in Kerobokan, Bali. If you have a question you would like answered in this column, write to Lydia at For more go to

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