Taking a Handstand Against Taxes

By Chris Erskine Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES ~ Add taxes to the things I hate – Valentine’s Day, toll roads, pasta salad (not a pasta, not a salad). Now there’s taxes too. I’m a yankee-doodle cheapskate, from way back. I’m so tight, you could mint pennies between my fingers. You could press nickels between […]

These Carefree Summer Days

By Chris Erskine Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES ~ By some accounts, it’s been a long summer. One week in, and Posh is ready to jump from a bridge (preferably one in Paris or San Francisco, where the shopping is decent and you can get a really good cup of coffee). The other morning, the […]

A Little Girl No More

By Chris Erskine Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES ~ This is the quirkiness we will miss, one of the oddities that will leave life a little empty after our teenager jets off to college in August, miserable August, only two months away. The other morning, I walk into the kitchen to find Posh washing three […]

Too Busy to Write a Better Headline

By John Kelly The Washington Post For the past three months, I have been carrying around in my briefcase a prescription for new eyeglasses. Do I HAVE new glasses? No. Why? Because I’m too busy to get them. Because I haven’t gotten new glasses, and thus see the world as if looking through a scratched […]

Reaping Values in Kindergarten

By Chris Erskine Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES ~ School can only do so much for you. To this day, I always have to look up the spelling of Anne Boleyn’s name, and I am constantly spelling “magnificent” as “magnificient.” There are dead zones in my head – that’s the only explanation, despite the fact […]

Sext and the City

By Chris Erskine Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES ~ Keeping a relationship alive these days isn’t easy. So, in an effort to demonstrate my commitment, I just sexted my wife of 27 years – that is, I have sent her a revealing photo taken with my cellphone. “Love,” says H.L. Mencken, is merely “a state […]

A Dazzling End to Childhood

By Chris Erskine Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES ~ “I’m going to Starbucks,” Posh announces. “Want anything?” “No.” “Sure?” The way to mess with Posh’s head lately is to not want anything. She is so under the gun – with prom, with graduation, with life – that when you don’t want anything from her, she […]

Toilet Paper and Leftovers

By Chris Erskine Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES ~ Some kids TPd the house the other night, a dopey yet time-honoured American tradition that I had feared was beginning to die out. At least I assume it was kids. All I know is that when I took the 300-pound beagle out at about 9:30pm – […]

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