For The Bali Times
SEMINYAK ~ Do things add up in your life? Are you gaining value and satisfaction from what you buy and choose? Discover how to deeply fulfill yourself emotionally and physically, here.
When we go shopping, we spend our money not just on things but on the feelings that we subconsciously feel that having those things will give us. For example, we may buy a shiny new car not just to get around but to make us feel more important. Or we buy a new dress because we seek admiration from others. Or a kitten because we need love and touch.
If we can discover the missing feelings we are looking for, we can fulfill the hidden-feeling need, without needing to spend money to get it. Often the things we buy do not actually fulfill the hidden need, anyway.
Quick Quiz â€“ Feel Good
List 5-10 things that you want. Now, write next to the things the feeling that it would bring you.
For example, Felicity listed the following things, and discovered some hidden feelings she also wanted:
Thing I wantÂ Â Â Â Â How I would feel if I had it
Cash in bankÂ Â Â Â Â Security, safety, support
Enough money for nice clothes Enjoyment, comfort
Nice place to liveÂ Â Â Â Â Health, home, comfort, peace
Nice carÂ Â Â Comfort, enjoyment, ease
Everything my child needsÂ Â Â Â Peace, satisfaction, pride
Plenty of money for travelÂ Â Â Freedom, comfort, support, love
SuccessÂ Â Â Â Wisdom, freedom
Try it for yourself. To give yourself the feelings that you lack, simply embrace that you do not have them, using the process below.Â This releases your need for those feelings – and paradoxically, enables you to then experience them. Notice how Felicity feels she needs wisdom and freedom in order to experience success.
Bali is a very spiritual place and when we come here, we may depart from our habitual â€œaction and doingâ€ identity that we usually inhabit in our working lives in places like Singapore and London, and visit not only a beautiful new location but a beautiful new area of self â€“ the higher self.
This is a special experience in Bali. However, if you find yourself inexplicably wanting to divest yourself of possessions and property, or losing things, weight or cash, you may have a problem which I see in some of my clients, which is that the higher self or consciousness part of you has judgments against the physical world and secretly wishes to escape. When you lose things, become a vegetarian (dislike of the flesh), want to walk around with bare feet (desire for freedom), you may be subconsciously expressing the desire to be free of the physical world. This can quite easily be overcome. However if you donâ€™t realize it, you may end up as a potless sage meditating at the top of a mountain. (My wish for you is to be a dynamic and rich sage, enjoying manifesting marvels for all!)
At the deepest level, this problem brings the desire to exit the body and the world, to return to the place of light, where all is bliss and there is no pain or suffering. Now, this is an erroneous idea, a mistake on the part of the higher self – who is not infallible, by the way – because the world is only full of pain and suffering if we decide it is so, which then creates that for us. One reason why the higher self or consciousness experiences suffering is because it feels it doesnâ€™t add up to much and is insignificant.
Try this simple and deeply comforting meditation, which I have designed to show you what I mean, and to help overcome this imbalance.Â You can try it right now; it brings a very nice feeling. This might be nice to do with your child, also.
I am Something Meditation
Relax, breathe, place your hands on your heart, and get in touch with the place just under your heart which is the seat of your soul. Feel and sense the essence of you. Gently affirm to yourself: â€œeven though my essence cannot be touched, smelled, seen, heard or tasted, or sensed physically, it is … something.â€ Stay with the feeling of â€œbeing something.â€ When ready, affirm: â€œI AM … SOMETHING.â€ Repeat. Enjoy the feeling. When ready, gently return.
How was that for you? It makes a bridge between consciousness and reality. For many of my clients it brings relief as it overcomes a major judgment â€“ that without physical expression, we are worthless. This is not the case â€“ our consciousness is eternal; we continue to exist without any physical expression. However, physical expression helps us to know ourselves because we can then sense, see, touch who we are. It is important for the higher self to know its own intrinsic value, because if your higher self has valued itself at zero (or a low value), when you visit that identity or part of yourself (i.e. when you visit Bali), you will have trouble holding onto anything that you perceive is worth more than zero. If you subconsciously believe â€œI am worth nothing,â€ that is what you will create. We can only attract what we believe is equal to ourselves, both in physical possessions, cash and feeling. If we believe we are valuable, the world reflects value to us. If we give ourselves love, believe we are equal to love, the world reflects that to us. If we give ourselves support, believe we are equal to support, then the world shows us that. The world is a mirror and to see in it what we desire, we must first give that to ourselves.
Try this simple process to give yourself all the feelings you felt you lacked, in the quiz above:
Feel that your feet are connected to the ground. Invite every part of yourself to be present. Say aloud:
I choose not to feel â€œsecurity, safety, support, enjoyment, comfort…â€ (list all the feelings you lack).
I love myself when I do not feel â€œsecurity, safety, support, enjoyment, comfort…â€
And I embrace it, and I surrender.
As the new information settles, you may feel momentarily woozy. Take it slowly, rest afterwards, drink water.
I am not sure that I am able to fulfill all my needs
I am not capable of fulfilling my expectations
I do not have wisdom, freedom and success
I am not sure that I am really enough
Next issue: The Princess and the Pea
Jelila practices in Bali a: Wellbeing Spa, 66B Jalan Laksmana, Seminyak. If you have a question you would like help with in this column, email email@example.com.