For The Bali Times
SEMINYAK ~ Who are you? A wonderful friend, parent, lover, companion? Or a monster, ogre, heinous criminal, vampire, thief? (Or are you afraid that you are?) Find out how to enjoy being all of who you are, here.
Fairy stories are the repository for our scary monsters as well as heroes. Itâ€™s easy to be the good fairy or the wise man – how do you feel about being the wicked, bad one? The baddie we eschew, projecting all our unclaimed badness on to them. As such, baddies perform a useful service for humanity, by agreeing to carry our dark, nasty feelings about ourselves, so we don t have to face them.
Try this simple meditation â€“ simply feel, hear, or imagine the first thing that comes to you to enjoy it.
Meditation â€“ Mirror of You
Relax, breathe, imagine yourself upstairs, in a room in a house in the forest. Leaves whisper in the trees outside in the sunlight. You approach a large mirror and prepare to see yourself. Look in the mirror. What do you see? Follow the person into the mirror where you are led to more rooms. Explore for as long as you like. Ask for help from fairies or guides if you need explanation. When ready, gently return. Now enter the mirror again, and this time explore in the opposite direction to see what you find. Ask for help again if you need it. When ready, gently return.
How did that feel? What did you realize? Did you see the dark and the light in you? Can you see how it is really the same thing?
Jane needed help with a work contract that had gone wrong. Her baddie, Charles, was a torment, sending heavies round to intimidate, troublesome with legal actions. Yet I couldnâ€™t t help sensing glee when Jane talked about how awful Charles was, as if she enjoyed blaming him.
Intuitively, I realized Charles was: the one she loved the most, and also the one that she couldnâ€™t stand! Meaning, he was showing her a part of herself she really adored, yet couldnâ€™t embrace.
Jane was suffering legal issues not just with Charles, but in several countries, literally trying to prove she was right, or just. Janeâ€™s subconscious mind had got the meaning of just (and justice) mixed up with surviving â€“ which boiled down to her truth of Iâ€™m just surviving! Which was certainly true for her, as money coming in one door went out the other, so she felt she was only just surviving.
If you struggle with cash flow, have legal issues or often feel the need to prove that you are right, then change this belief, below. In fact, any beliefs with just in them may end up creating lack for you â€“ for example, if you are subconsciously asking for just enough money to do my work or I just want a boyfriend, then you may create having only just enough money or only just having a boyfriend (i.e., not keeping him long). So make richer statements like I now have plenty of money to do everything I wish and I now have the perfect boyfriend. (And leave just-ice out of it!)
After a long exploration, it transpired Jane subconsciously believed: I must have to do what I don t want, to survive. (Old slave programming, vestiges of ideas from the past, where we had to knuckle down and follow someone elseâ€™s bidding, to avoid death or injury.) So poor Jane was literally programmed for a life of doing what she doesnâ€™t want â€“ and being attached to the idea of survival, this makes it, essentially, an addiction â€“ she has to do what she doesnâ€™t want â€“ or die! Hence, Jane s life is busy with fixing irksome problems, doing many tasks she doesnâ€™t want, that she is (subconsciously) creating, so that she can fulfill her truth â€œI have to do what I donâ€™t want to survive.â€ Because of course, subconsciously, she does want to survive. And as survival does not suggest abundance, she does all those things and still only just survives: she is still short of cash. Not much fun.
You can change this belief for yourself, below. It is a common one, and is the root of disempowerment. Changing it empowers you.
Jane denied that she wanted revenge on Charles â€“ though often, we do, don t we? Weâ€™d like to roast our opponent on a spit, humiliate or embarrass them, make them suffer as we have, wouldnâ€™t we? Rather then paling, and yelling ooh noooo! I would never wish that! consider allowing your nasty bits, and accept, saying, â€œWell, yes, I really would like to do them harm.â€ Once you embrace it, and look at it, it is released. Only nasty stuff we refuse to embrace is carried with us, as baggage. Like cheesy socks left in a cupboard.
The Secret of Jealousy
I recently discovered that jealousy â€“ the idea that someone else is going to take our stuff so that there is not enough for us â€“ stems from the subconscious fear that we are going to take everyone elseâ€™s stuff and leave them with nothing. We then project this fear onto others, and fear it coming from them. Embrace the belief â€œMy name is (your name) and Iâ€™m here to take all your money and leave you with nothing!â€ to release it. (I hope this makes you laugh.)
Experience this simple process now to release these deep beliefs for yourself.
Connect with the active, Masculine part of yourself and invite it to be present. Invite in the feeling Feminine. The playful Child. The wise Higher Self. With all present, say aloud:
I choose to believe â€œThere is a part of myself I really adore, yet cannot embrace.â€
I love myself when I believe â€œThere is a part of myself I really adore, yet cannot embrace.â€
And I embrace it, and I surrender.
Take it slowly, rest afterwards, drink water.
Repeat the process for each of these:
Just = surviving.
I cannot really adore myself.
I m in a love-hate relationship with myself.
I m afraid that I m not right and good, or not.
I m afraid I really want to harm myself.
and if you have sickness, try:
I m sick of doing what I don t want, to survive.
Next issue: Teasing & Tormenting â€“ How To Avoid Doing this to Yourself without Realizing
Jelila practices healing in Bali at Wellbeing Spa, Jl. Laksmana 66B, Seminyak. Tel: +62 (0)361 735573. Music/Blog online: www.myspace.com/jelilajelilala. If you have a question you would like help with in this column, please write to Jelila at firstname.lastname@example.org.